Happy Trails: Ring of Fire

I fell into a burnin' ring of fire
I went down, down, down
And the flames went higher,
And it burns, burns, burns,
The ring of fire, the ring of fire.

Johnny Cash: Ring of Fire

Welcome back to Happy Trails! A trailer park challenge with tons of spunk and barely clothed sim women who like to stomp roaches. Well, I could be lying about the first thing, but I know I'm not about the second.

Last time we visited our plucky founder SimShan, she and her dearly beloved Bella had discovered the joys of indoor plumbing and the not so joyous realities of birthing babies, but that isn't going to deter this family sim. No, after the first baby up rolled the ten kid want. Anyways, onward march!

"Oh look, my tummy popped out."

"I thought when you said you were going to outdo that Duggar bitch, you meant you were going to."

"But it's quicker this way!"

SimShan is proving to be as adept at cooking as RLShan.

And here comes the food poisoning...

"Waaaaaaah....I'm having babies....and I'm sick...."

Oh Bella...don't do this.

"Nao, Bella, ziss fancy whirring zhing will make all your worries fly away."

"No more babies?"

"Naooo, zhere is nozhing I cahn do about zhat."

"What use are you then? Where's that damn punch barrel?"

That's ma girl.

Look!! The babies grew up! Bobbi Jo is up top and Earl is on the bottom.

Isn't that awesome, I matched the linoleum from the kitchen to the bathroom! 

It's the little things folks.

Toddlers do what toddlers are going to do best, and that is bug one very preggers mommy about getting a diaper change...

And send the other back to see The Doctor.

This one unfortunately doesn't have a tardis, but he is crazy enough.

Sleep can only be found while standing in pee puddles in this happy trailer.

Or in your green, fly infested lunch meat sandwhich.

They find ways to keep the spark alive.

And we have babies!! The little one up top is Toby, named so after Toby Keith.

The little one on the bottom is Reba, named after the ever wonderful, Reba.

Oh the lovely life of trailerhood. Dirty, decaying newspapers on the front porch, two nasty toilets, one spewing pee water everywhere. One mom tucked away in bed, one passed out next to the pee water. And a giant stash of stinky bottles green clouding up my badass linoleum and two highchairs.

Life of luxury my friends.

Why so sad Shan?

"My flamingo is on fire! Waaaaaah!"

"We have lit the flames of war comrades. The blonde one weeps for the fate of the pink one."

"We shall rule!"

"No more feet! No more stomping!"

With the lighting of the flames of war on our dearest flamingo Danica, I shall leave you to wonder:

Exactly how serious is Shan about outdoing the Duggars?

What do the roaches plan next?

Will the next chapter be more entertaining?

Find out all that, and more coming soon!

The point breakdown:

+1  for every wedding party in the main house

 +2  for every heir that marries while they or their spouse are showing a baby bump

 +2  for each legitimate pregnancy (x4)

+10  for every 6 x 20 trailer on the lot

Point total: 21

Happy Trails: Pretty Good At Drinkin' Beer

I wasn't born for diggin deep holes
I'm not made for pavin long roads
I aint cut out to climb high line poles
But I'm pretty good at drinkin beerPretty Good at Drinkin' Beer by Billy Currington

Welcome to Chapter 2 of Happy Trails!

Last chapter we met SimShan and her dismay at the current lack of indoor plumbing. Personally, I'd give up indoor plumbing for that bitchin kitchen linoleum I found. Plus, her trailer is turquoise and doesn't have any holes! And she has an easel!

We also met her wife to be, Bella Goth. Ah, yes, the elusive temptress in the red dress has earned a spot in our trailer.

When we last saw the ladies, Bella decided that she wanted to do this pure trailer park style.

In her undies, right outside the outdoor plumbing.

Oh look!  Bella is making friends.

"Oh baby, rock that fur vest."

"You know, I have other furry things that I rock."

Whoa...TMI there dude!!

Well, anyways, Bella brought in $19000 and made it possible for my dear sims to upgrade to the deluxe double wide version! They were also able to afford the junker and a standard blue pickup.

"We have water!! Yay!"

And just in time.

"I'm not ready!"

They never are. Tsk Tsk.

"But I thought I did this twice already!"

Different neighborhood, different lifetime dearie.

 

 

"I think something is wrong here..."

Don't you just love glitches? 

"Might as well do this now."

"Might as well. Can we go Woohoo now?"

 "I'm only here for the free booze."

Because both ladies were due to pop shortly, I figured now was the time to get hitched!

In attendance was our welcome wagon and the Matchmaker.

I am playing for points, and for the record, since we all know that SimShan is visibly preggers, I'm claiming the points.

"Party!!!"

Oh Jenny. I think you might like this too much.

"Oh yeah, we can dance."

Bella's "friend" from earlier gave them a stereo, so why not use it? 

"Aaaaahhhhh!!!!!!!!! Bella!"

"zzzzBellazzzzzRockszzzzBestzzzzDancerzzzzEverzzzz"

"BELLA!!! BABY!!!!"

"Aww she's so cute!"

Awww, what's her name?
"I think we should call her Bobbi Jo."

Cute. The downside to Bella having dark hair?

Every. Single. Baby. Will. Have. Black. Hair.

"Shan! You did it! You had a baby."

"I know! I want more."

"How many more?"

"I think we should out do that Duggar bitch."

Oh lord...the ten kid want has already shown up. Damn family sims.

 

 "Why would you say that you want to do this??"

"He can stay."

Everybody say hello to Earl.

*Hello Earl*

"Goo?"

I did warn ya'll about the roaches last chapter didn't I?

Well, get used to seeing them!

"Come comrades, we must gather our forces. The sims inside must die."

"AAAAAh! Run away comrades! Meet under the stairs!"

"Die Vermin Die!!"

Fear the foot my friends. Fear the foot.

With that, I'm gonna head to bed and try to sleep. Have to work in only a few hours!

Coming up:

More babies, roaches and stink piles.

Points Earned:

+1  for every wedding party in the main house

 +2  for every heir that marries while they or their spouse are showing a baby bump.

 +2  for each legitimate pregnancy. (x2)

+10  for every 6 x 20 trailer on the lot

Current Total: 17

Happy Trails: Trailerhood

Music's playing up and down the block
Mostly Christian, blues, country, folk and southern rock
It's a little piece of paradise way out here in the woods
There's always something going on down in the trailerhood
Toby Keiths' Trailerhood 


Welcome friends to the Happy Trails Trailer Park, or what will soon be! Right now, it's a lonely single trailer way off by the edges of Strangetown. Let's go have a looksie at our new friend.

"I'm not turning around. I already know what you're doing to me."

No you don't. You could be living the life of luxury.

"The life of luxury on a dirt road? In the desert? Hah, I don't think so."

Everybody say hello to Simme! Yup, Sim Shan is going to be the subject of torture for our delight.

For those that don't know, SimShan is a Family Sim with the standard Libra personality. Her turn ons are: Unemployed and Greatcook (for this challenge specifically)

Turn off: Hardworker

Hey Shan, why don't you turn around and check out your cushy new digs?

"I hate you."

Look at how nice I am, I got you a cute two bedroom trailer with an easel.

"Yeah, but where is the bathroom??"

Oh that...

 

  Well, you didn't have enough money to afford a real water hook up, so I kinda illegally tapped into the pipes. So it's outside. Your kitchen sink is hooked up to it too.

"What did you spend all my money on??"

Don't you like your kitchen floor? I thought it was cute, it should hide the roaches well.

 

 "I want a bathroom with walls goddamn it."

That's a good life goal. You should aim for it.

"Go away. Both of you."

OK, I will let you crap in peace.

"Hi, would either of you like to save me from this hell?"

Stop being so dramatic. They're both playables, you're outta luck anyways.

Cue the standard first day welcome wagon shenanigans. Seriously, Nervous? 

"You refuse to rescue me."

This is the first time I've played this hood!

 

 Ah the matchmaker. Anybody who knows me knows that my sims are a superstitious bunch and believe that any marriage made outside of her services are doomed to fail.

"$20...You've got to be kidding me. This isn't a charity hunny."

"It's all I have and for some silly reason my creator threatens me harm if I don't meet my lover thru you."

"Freakin legacy sims. I'm about to put up a required minimum."

"Yada yada, crystal ball, lover, person, cheap bitch, legacy match."

Being cheap hasn't failed me yet.

She Lives!! The magic of the crystal ball has brought the ever mysterious Bella Goth.

They hit it off really well.

Really, really well in fact.

So well in fact that it ended up here.

Yeah, we all knew where it was going.

Obligatory nearly naked kiss pic. Might as well say this now, Bella decided she was really super happy living in a turquoise blue trailer off a dirt road and moved it with SimShan.

"Laaaaa!" 

"Oh Bella." *giggles*

"Shannon, while I don't fear it, will you be my bride?"

"Yes!!!!!"

Little do they know....

And that I think this is where I'm going to end this chapter before it gets too long!

Anyways, coming in the next couple chapters:

Babies, Smell, Roaches and more!

Hope you guys have a great day!!