A woman and the kids, and the dogs and me
I got a shotgun rifle and a 4-wheel drive
And a country boy can survive
Country folks can survive
Country Boy Can Survive by Hank Williams Jr
Welcome back to Happy Trails dear friends, the Trailer Park Challenge where the only thing outnumbering the kids is the amount of roaches. Sounds like fun, right?
There are perils to the trailer park life. You moms can leave you on the living room floor between a pee puddle, trash pile and a unit of roach infantry. Which baby is this? I have no idea. I've lost count.
At least the toddlers are going to have dancing skills should any of them roll knowledge.
I wonder what the other kids are up to.
"Yo Ho Yo Ho it's a pirates Life for me!!!"
"Uh...Reba."
"Yeah Toby?"
"Yeah Toby?"
"You migh wanna clear out."
"Oh god Toby, ya know Mama said tha shit ditch wasn't for shittin!"
"Well..."
"This one was the only one free an I really needed to go."
"Ick, it stinks in here."
"Uh...Ma, I think something's wrong."
"My chest hurts."
Ya don't say?
"Commander!!"
"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH"
"Commander!"
*screams of roaches as they burn*
"Commander, lets get you to safety."
" *cough* Private Johnson? Is that you, Private?"
"Yes Sir, I'm here sir."
"Come close Private."
"Shhh...speak soft sir, conserve your breath sir. You need your strength."
"Listen to me Private. Leave me, leave me to face the fire."
"Listen to me Private. Leave me, leave me to face the fire."
"I can't do that sir! You're going to live sir!"
"No, you will live. I...Must...meet the ............ fire."
"Commander? Commander?! Commander!"
"Johnson? Johnson, come on man, he's gone. Save yourself man, come on."
So, apparently this random townie chick knows how to use a spray can while nobody else does.
"It was under the sink."
Why are you here?
"I don't know...I came here on the school bus."
"Did I do that?"
Notice the big ol belly? Yup.
Oh look! The kids grew up!
While Bobbi Jo cries about the roach infestation, Earl has stuffed himself on grilled cheese and is rethinking his life choices, Toby and Shan are painting, George and one of his brothers start a rousing game of cops and robbers. George is the one in the bathrobe, and the only reason I know that is because George, well, George has a fatal flaw.
George is an asshole.
The only reason it stopped was due to Reba showing off the new dance moves she learned at school, the smustle!
The kids caught on quick.
I wouldn't do that if I were you...
"Wheeeeee!"
"Oh Gross!"
Still heart farting.
"Nooo, George might see my song book."
Oh look it's baby time!
This time it's:
Willie
Blake
Taylor
Miranda
Oh look! It's Bobbi Jo and Earl's birthday!
First up is Bobbi Jo.
And then Mr. Earl.
Bobbi Jo rolled Romance and her LTW is to woohoo with 20 different sims.
Earl rolled Grilled Cheese and his LTW is to eat 200 grilled cheese sandwiches.
I'm using random number generator online to roll aspirations. They both grew up in the red, which def made making Earl's aspiration change so much easier!
"A home visit?"
"wah wah wah wah waawawha"
"Um...yeah...I guess that's cool. We can do that."
What is this about?
*giant crash in background*
"Oh! I have to go! Tomorrow at 5pm? Yeah, we can do that."
*sigh*
These kids.
Each of these is a different fight. The common connection?
George.
George is an asshole.
Bella races off to her dead end vacation from the kids.
Just in time for this asshat to show up. Hey remember those bills behind Bella a few chapters back? Apparently we forgot to pay those.
Him and his Reverse O Nerf gun need to die...
Stealing poor kids bookcases and beds like that.
Thankfully Asshat left before Headmaster Tartar Sauce showed up.
Yup, we called the headmaster.
"Thank you for coming sir!"
"You're pregnant...and naked. Outside a trailer off a dirt road."
"Here, we believe that education is important to have nothing dragging a child down, and if the kids were to fall in the pond with clothes on, they might drown."
Whut...?
"Why don't you just show me around the house?"
This should be interesting...
Cause this is what the Headmaster of Strangetown Preparatory Acadamy of Young Minds wants to see when he comes for a home visit.
Some flirting and chatting and joking later, our shmooze score is looking pretty decent.
Some beautiful sparkling bass later, our food score is looking pretty good too!
"While your family might not be one of our, traditional, families; one cannot deny there is a certain, attraction. Congrats, your kids are in."
"Thank you soo much, Headmaster Tartar Sauce. You should call me if you have any....troubles you need my help with."
"Of course my dear."
So somehow, despite giant piles of trash, roaches and green clouds of stink everywhere, as well as kids fighting left and right, the kids made it in.
I wonder if they're having fun yet.
Poor Shan, she's beat.
She made it to bed, but not before not making it to the toilet.
Poor Reba, she's so worried about the nonexistent health and sanity of her poor, Duggar obsessed mother.
We should let her sleep.
"We have toppled the giant metal can Sergent Johnson."
"Good work soldiers. Good work."
"Any more orders Sir?"
"Rest easy tonight kids, we haven't even gotten started."
Thank you guys for making it thru the end of year 1 of Happy Trails!! Tune in next time for:
Well, lots of stuff I guess. I haven't played that far yet!
Now, normally, I don't count the pregnancy until the baby is born, but since Shan is obviously preggers again, I'm counting it for this year. Till next time lovelies!!
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