Tuesday, June 16, 2015

Happy Trails: Front Porch Looking In

There's a carrot top who can barely walk with a sippy cup of milk
A little blue eyed blonde with shoes on wrong
'Cause she likes to dress herself
And the most beautiful girl holding both of them
And the view I love the most is my front porch looking in.


My Front Porch Looking In by Lonestar


Welcome back to Happy Trails!! Last chapter, we almost fulfilled the impossible want of ten kids, Bella's sanity is questionable, and I mentioned it's almost yard sale time! Yessiree, it is getting close to that wonderful time of the year where rednecks shove all their unwanted junk off onto everybody else! Now, because our founding family lives in the desert, the seasons are set up a bit different. There are two summers, essentially the one you start at the end of, the next one where fall would traditionally be, fall, spring, and then it's summer again. Which means a year runs from summer to summer. The yard sale will always be in the last summer of the year. Got it? Good, we can move on then.

"Wheeeeee!!!! Look Reba!"
"Look at what Toby?"
"I can almost touch the ceilin! It's like I got jet packs on my feet."
Toby makes it difficult to be a trailer park goddess sometimes.
Bobbi Jo and Earl fish/paint/read on their own. Toby jumps.

Whatcha doin Earl?
"Fishin."
For what?
"Fish."
Gotten anything good?
"We goin' eat goood tonight."
What's going on over there?
"Ma's havin a baby. Means I gotta get more fish."
I'll leave ya to it then.

"AAAAAAAhhhhhhh"
Why I wonder how these two stay pregnant at all times...

"Oh Mama, congrats, it's such a cute baby! It's a girl baby right Mama?"
"No, he's a boy baby. Baby Tim."

Ten kids later and they still heart fart. This is love.

Bella takes a break from stomping her rivals to have another baby.

And Reba saw way more than she wanted to.
"Ugh! Ma!!!"
Everybody, say hello to:
Kenny
Keith

"Die roaches, Die!"
What's wrong?
"They took ma fish."
Oh no...not the fish.
"Cough"
ugh...did I mention that everyone has the flu. Always?
 "Pee puddles!"
Ughhhhh!

When you have 12 kids, you learn to multi task. 

In other words, glitchy game is glitchy.


Living the dream ladies?
BTW, if you do not have the toddler mats, they are a godsend. Only way to keep the babies from going nuts.

 "So you hit the purple one and it makes a purple noise. You hit the blue one, it makes a blue noise."
 "Diapey green nose noise."
With stink diapers and bottles all around, Shan begins the enrichment of her kids.
On this episode of Bella's Breakdowns, Babies and Bills:
She's losing the fight against the roaches.

Which means...

She has the flu...again.
 And so does Shan.

Awesome, right? So far, all the comfort soup in the world has yet to make a dent in the families flu epidemic.

We can only hope that the epidemic doesn't spread. Doesn't form...more...

"The pink one is lit again! We shall reclaim this place for Roachmanistan!"
"What next Capt?"
"We go up."
"Sir, Yes Sir!"



Meanwhile, inside the house, the current state of affairs is getting a tad messy...
Is that pregnancy or the flu? Well...oh who are we kidding, at this point it could be either.

Once again outside, we have our yard sale tables set up! There is the hope that grandmas hope chest full of super valuable costume jewelry will bring in at least a little bit of money.

Just remember, this means that the year is soon coming to a close! Yay!

"Oh crap."
Just as 7am creeped up, Bella decided to try a new sales pitch.
Let's help the naked pregnant lady get some new clothes!








Pics from the yard sale! They're in no particular order, but the family did pretty good considering it was mainly fish, rocks and paintings they were selling. That little blonde kid in the middle pic bought almost all of the expensive artwork and we even managed to unload gma's hope chest.

The family ended up bringing in around 5 or 6k.
They actually still have most of it, savings for a spiffy hunting cabin somewhere out in the woods.
Errr....Cacti I mean. Until then, we have doggy things to buy!

So, I figure this is as good a place as any to stop this chapter! Tune in next time for trash, dust clouds galore, the smustle and the chance at escape from trailer life?? What?!


The point breakdown:
+1  for every wedding party in the main house
 +2  for every heir that marries while they or their spouse are showing a baby bump
 +2  for each legitimate pregnancy (x9)
+10  for every 6 x 20 trailer on the lot
Point total: 31

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